Blog Number Two - Two years later

June 9th 2010

Misogynistic, alcoholic, narcissistic, Tucker Max got a half a million-dollar advance for a book based on his blog where he writes about getting drunk and fucking a different woman every night. That’s it. I’m blogging! I know I’ve threatened for two years, but I’m serious. Tucker Max inspired me. Though initially I thought he sounded vile, so I had written him off. Then, I read that he’s offended by being passed off as a misogynist without people actually reading him, and I thought I will give him the benefit of the doubt. I read a little. Turns out, he’s really funny AND he’s a misogynist. We do form opinions without knowing anything. He’s right, it’s not fair.

Like, last week I heard that there was a musical in NY about two gay men having a baby. It’s called, The Kid. First I had a full on anxiety attack because I thought, Oh God, that’s it, someone wrote my musical, the one I’ve been working on since, ugh, I’m not even going to say. The point is, I freaked. He’s written my show and then there won’t be room for me and my show in the world. This is a notion that only a person who is riddled with fear would have. Then I’m thinking, oh his show will probably suck anyway, like that last fertility musical I read about. So, now I hate the show and the author both of which I know nothing about. But remember what Tucker Max said, so I read about the musical. It’s taken from Dan Savage’s book, The Kid. I pick up the book at Barnes and Noble and I can’t put it down. The book is hilarious. I’ve never read a book that says, “fucked in the ass” so many times. In fact I may go back and count how many times it says that, just for the hek of it. He is smart and hysterical and now I’m a big Dan Savage fan. He lives in Seattle and he has written a sex column for all people, gay and straight and I think he has four books out. Since I’ve been trying to have a kid for fourteen years, even longer than the amount of time I’ve been writing a musical about trying to have a kid, there was a lot I could relate to, but of course, our stories are 100% different. Duh! It’s always like that. That is such a mistaken notion, like, Oh no, a movie just came out and it’s a love story. Now I won’t be able to sell my movie. Insanity!

I have rehearsal tomorrow with Jason Robert Brown and Georgia Stitt. We’re doing a benefit at Georgia’s church in Pasadena. I’m in a 30-person choir. I love them and their respective writing so much. I’m over the moon about Georgia’s song My Lifelong Love. Look them up and buy their albums. www.jasonrobertbrown.com and www.georgiastitt.com. Bars 142 and 143 in LLL are challenging, but I love being challenged and having to sit at the piano and actually count to figure those measures out. Today is the day, 17 years ago, that I stopped drinking alcohol. Tucker Max writes about drinking and having sex. Mine will be about not drinking and not having sex. I'm on probation. No dating. Okay, bedtime. I broke my blogging abstinence. Finally!

Blast Off

About twelve years ago, this actor I met said, you have to check out my website! “Oh, okay, sure, I said.” I didn’t even really understand what one was. I didn’t know how to find one, I didn’t have email and I had a computer that was the size of an aircraft carrier. And I certainly did not understand why in the world an actor would need a website. The theeeaaatuh is a live art form. That’s the beauty of the stage. Whatever… cut to, I’m about to launch my website. The launch word; it kills me. I think John Glenn, I think NASA, I think the Challenger when I hear launch. What exactly does that look like? I have some friends over – dinner first, dehydrated food for space travel. We stand around the computer, donning bubble helmets, then my web designer pushes a button from her house. I picture the computer floating off my desk.

I’m like my mother when she got her first phone machine! But to some extent we do turn into them, don’t we?

And while I love the idea of having a blog, I’m conflicted about it too. Ida Dupont said to Andrea Askowitz; www.andreaaskowitz.com, “Do you think anyone cares about what you are thinking every day?” That’s how I feel. I am exhausted by my own thoughts – why spread them around cyberspace every five minutes? I read blogs that say… “My husband loves bluebirds” – ugh, so what? and “We tried this great asparagus dish last night.” If I don’t know you, I don’t care. Even if I know you I may not care. If I know you and love you, that could be different. If I’m romantically interested in you… Give me the asparagus recipe! I'm researching asparagus. God, I’m shallow. But of course I love good writing if it’s about asparagus, bluebirds or pretty much anything.

So, here’s why I think I'm going to blog. Maybe, hopefully it will connect me to people and I would like to be connected to new people and ideas and new art and artists; music, film, writing and business. I hope people will learn about my show, “Project Baby,” and want to bring it to a theatre near them. That said, I will try my best to keep my blog amusing and interesting. Maybe blogging will make me a better writer.

Truthfully though, having a website has been on my To Do list for about six years. Working on it was challenging. It forced me to consider what I want to put forth in the world. What kind of work do I most want, who am I, what do I care about and how does that translate through media? Oy vey. For someone who overanalyzes everything you can only imagine what it was like for my poor web designer. I am so grateful to have had the author extraordinaire Hillary Carlip www.FlyHC.com design and build my site. How lucky did I get? She is brilliant and has been so easy and delightful to work with and supportive. She always answered my questions kindly - all twenty million of them - and offered feedback and solutions and suggestions. Okay, so 10, 9, 8, put on your helmet, 7, 6, 5, thank you so much for stopping by and looking at my new website… 4, 3, 2, 1 ! Blast off!